Anxiety and me
I know that I've talked about my struggles with anxiety before but it's an ongoing battle which means it's present in my everyday life and therefore, worthy of another blog post. This time, my anxiety is at an all-time high because of a job interview. I guess I decided to write this post because as I'm sitting here tired and worried sick, I also know that there's nothing I can do about it. I can sit here postulating all the possible worse scenarios in the world but it won't make me feel any better, it will only wind me up tighter until I crash and spend hours crying for no apparent reason. Without the ability to see into the future or read minds, I can only do my best at the interview and move on, I either get the job or don't. It's that simple. I guess that this post is me making a vow to myself to do better. I'm under no illusions that making a vow will cure my anxiety but I can do better and stop worrying about things that are entirely out of my control. For instance, last month at my graduation I was a ball of nerves for days before worrying that I'd be late or too early, that they'd be a problem with the tickets or robes, that I wouldn't see my friends or they wouldn't want to see me or worse, that I'd make a fool of myself somehow on stage. Instead, I found myself in a joyous and stress-free environment. All that worrying that had kept me up at night just served to make me feel tired and ill.
So, tonight I will watch a film in bed and drink some Twinnings sleep tea. Tomorrow I will go to my job interview and try my utmost to be confident and impress. Later, I'll come home and have a bath with marshmallow bubbles and listen to some music and think about how worked up I was over something so simple.
Thank you for taking the time to visit this blog and read this blog post.